joyfinderhero (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
joyfinderhero) wrote2007-11-14 01:56 pm
joyfinderhero) wrote2007-11-14 01:56 pm
Entry tags:
The Science of Magic
Between the Worlds. Every four years I get to see a bigger glimpse of something far larger than whatever I have dreamed before.
Each time, including the first one (where I had barely even heard the term 'witch' and thought I was showing up at a 50-person gathering put on by a young acquaintance's little group she called 'my coven'), I have felt the strong pull of consciously ceremonial, rigorous magic.
I've been a Reclaiming witch, at least, mostly, since about 1993. Can I really learn the lore that underlies high ceremonial magick? Will I really devote the time that such conscious and conscientious work requires? (Do I really want to say 'no' to this, yet again?)
After each such gathering I've felt the pull. What blocks me? Should I keep listening to it? or let it natter on while I go about my business? Three years ago I printed out all the application material for Servants of the Light and then balked. Is it fear of initiation that stops me? Fear of conflict among my assorted teachers in and out of Magick? (But why would that be? One truth, many paths ... and anything that doesn't work for me has always fallen away when no longer useful.)
Fear. Issues of unworthiness. Concern about rigor, and scholarship. What if I actually can do 'measurable' magick in addition to the magick I intuitively 'know' has worked? What am I afraid to know? to find out? to discover?
Doesn't matter much what the fears are. Doesn't even matter much where, geographically, I expect to be.
Time to do the work.
Each time, including the first one (where I had barely even heard the term 'witch' and thought I was showing up at a 50-person gathering put on by a young acquaintance's little group she called 'my coven'), I have felt the strong pull of consciously ceremonial, rigorous magic.
I've been a Reclaiming witch, at least, mostly, since about 1993. Can I really learn the lore that underlies high ceremonial magick? Will I really devote the time that such conscious and conscientious work requires? (Do I really want to say 'no' to this, yet again?)
After each such gathering I've felt the pull. What blocks me? Should I keep listening to it? or let it natter on while I go about my business? Three years ago I printed out all the application material for Servants of the Light and then balked. Is it fear of initiation that stops me? Fear of conflict among my assorted teachers in and out of Magick? (But why would that be? One truth, many paths ... and anything that doesn't work for me has always fallen away when no longer useful.)
Fear. Issues of unworthiness. Concern about rigor, and scholarship. What if I actually can do 'measurable' magick in addition to the magick I intuitively 'know' has worked? What am I afraid to know? to find out? to discover?
Doesn't matter much what the fears are. Doesn't even matter much where, geographically, I expect to be.
Time to do the work.
no subject
Swannie