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Watching this Journal Grow
Saturday, July 8th, 2006 11:57 amThis journal grows differently from others I have kept. I'm standing back a little bit this morning, amused and interested.
Other times I have kept "topic" journals --
* Dreams, for example, together with any work I did to decode them
* Gratitude and Acknowledgement, for a whole year once, each night finding at least one thing to be grateful for and giving appropriate notice to whatever was true or had happened
* Patterns -- the times when I find myself acting in a habitual way rather than being open to what actually serves me, for example, or the times I find myself acting according to a family pattern rather than a locally-appropriate pattern
Other times I have kept "diary" journals --
* What I did on my summer vacation, a day-by-day log of trips to the swimming pool, to camp, to be a tourist in this or that context
* What I did today -- 5 loads of laundry, cooked two meals, ate yogurt standing up at the sink, read a couple of chapters of this or that
This seems different. No attempt at continuity, or at filling in the blanks -- if I don't write about it, I don't go back. If something seems like an issue one day and gets resolved over time, maybe I won't make a point of writing about the resolution.
And I'm finding it interesting to read it over and see how varied the entries are -- how differently my attention is engaged, day to day and week to week. How much my perception of success and happiness has seemed like 'well it's about time and besides is brief, a fluke' and how much my perception of failure and unhappiness has seemed like 'this has been going on a long time oh phooey'.
When the facts seem more like 'sometimes I'm up and sometimes I'm down, some days I get done what was on my mind to do and some days I don't.'
I have the sense that writing this in public is a good thing -- at least, for me and the writing -- and also that some of it is probably deeply boring.
So, my thanks for the attention you've given to this work-in-progress, and my apologies for any boredom that has occurred (wry grin).
Also, my deep gratitude for your many insightful and useful comments.
Blessings on us all.
...//...
Other times I have kept "topic" journals --
* Dreams, for example, together with any work I did to decode them
* Gratitude and Acknowledgement, for a whole year once, each night finding at least one thing to be grateful for and giving appropriate notice to whatever was true or had happened
* Patterns -- the times when I find myself acting in a habitual way rather than being open to what actually serves me, for example, or the times I find myself acting according to a family pattern rather than a locally-appropriate pattern
Other times I have kept "diary" journals --
* What I did on my summer vacation, a day-by-day log of trips to the swimming pool, to camp, to be a tourist in this or that context
* What I did today -- 5 loads of laundry, cooked two meals, ate yogurt standing up at the sink, read a couple of chapters of this or that
This seems different. No attempt at continuity, or at filling in the blanks -- if I don't write about it, I don't go back. If something seems like an issue one day and gets resolved over time, maybe I won't make a point of writing about the resolution.
And I'm finding it interesting to read it over and see how varied the entries are -- how differently my attention is engaged, day to day and week to week. How much my perception of success and happiness has seemed like 'well it's about time and besides is brief, a fluke' and how much my perception of failure and unhappiness has seemed like 'this has been going on a long time oh phooey'.
When the facts seem more like 'sometimes I'm up and sometimes I'm down, some days I get done what was on my mind to do and some days I don't.'
I have the sense that writing this in public is a good thing -- at least, for me and the writing -- and also that some of it is probably deeply boring.
So, my thanks for the attention you've given to this work-in-progress, and my apologies for any boredom that has occurred (wry grin).
Also, my deep gratitude for your many insightful and useful comments.
Blessings on us all.
...//...
