Tending Joy

It's been a long time since I found myself pounding-my-fist-on-the-table angry, but just now I am.

Come to think of it, my problem now is the same as it's been before: I'm asking a perfectly legitimate question, just as clearly as I know how, and the other party is refusing to acknowledge that the question is asked, or giving me the same irrelevant reply as before, or just generally being unhelpful. At a time and situation when I need help very much, when I am entirely blocked from acting until I can get the piece of information I require.

Only this time it's a computer, not a person.

What, exactly, is it that makes Help writers so completely out of touch with what I need to know? (Well, I know that answer; I was a documentation writer once. The problem is that, by the time I understand the system well enough to write answers that are accurate, I no longer understand enough about being new-to-the-system to know what info you're going to need.)

Why, exactly, is there so little information on exactly those operations that need to be performed less often than once a year?

Just at present, I've bought myself a new Palm, figuring that the Palm Vx I bought in 2000 is no longer supported and won't synch with my Macbook (we established that a week ago). My new Tungsten E2 seems like a pretty nice machine, and has solved my worst problem with the old one, that in low-light conditions I couldn't read it, with or without the backlighting.

But wouldn't you think that Palm would recognize that buying a new computer might be an occasion for buying a new Palm? and that, just maybe, I'd want to keep access to 8 years of data?

So why can't I figure it out?

So far ... I've managed to find that the HotSync entry in Help doesn't mention it, but there IS an entry under Synchronize that speaks of using multiple handhelds. BUT the first thing it says is that you can't synchronize two handhelds to the same data. I can appreciate that this might be unstable in repeated use: but how do I go about replacing the old one if I can't get the data onto the new one?????

"No problem" it says. Just create a "Profile." So I did that. Then it assumes I'll want to manually type in the data to the profile so I can add it to the handheld "before" creating the new username. (Oops). Except that, if I wanted to manually type in 8 years of data, I wouldn't be doing any of this to start with.

"Just import or export the data" it says, but the Help entry on Export and Import doesn't begin to explain how to do it, and seems designed not to export the data as Palm data, but to export it to another program for a different operation -- not what I want.

I am SO frustrated. And I leave the country in a week, hopefully carrying a new computer and a new handheld ... mainly because the old computer seems to be having hardware problems and I wanted a more durable platform.

Sheesh!

(I guess that helped, at least somewhat. If anybody has good advice, I'd love to have it. I have to admit I'm still seething.)

:(P

Strange times.

My computer is about 95% back to normal -- that is, all the software's loaded and working, all the day-to-day data is loaded and working, I even found a February backup of ALL the MSWord docs, so all the good old stuff that I sometimes refer to is back in live space, and all the old novel drafts I worked on last year ... the only stuff missing is a few dozen updated files of which the earlier versions exist, and a couple of specific things I wrote this summer that seem to be totally gone.

One of those is the sermon I wrote about Abundance ... oh, but wait -- didn't I e-mail that to someone? Yes, I did. And there it is, in the successfully backed-up Outlook Express files. Hmm. Maybe if I think of a few other things I'll be able to find them, too. Hmm.

Still to add -- the rest of the pictures.

Still not quite right -- an assortment of settings in various software. If I'd realized at the time that I would need them, and that they would somehow NOT be preserved when things needed to be "reinstalled" (not just "copied") ... Maybe I'd have tried to figure out how to back them up. What they are just now is annoying.

Like: WHERE in Windows XP do I get to tell it that my Default Keyboard, from the moment the machine wakes up, is Dvorak? (I've got that set for my User Name, but my Password still wants QWERTY ... which always makes me stop and think. Rats.)

Or: WHERE in Windows XP can I tell it that I DON'T want mouse hesitation or touch-pad tremor to equal 'click here' ?

And: WHAT ever happened to the color scheme I spent days getting 'just right' and have now lost forever (sigh)?

None of these are important. It's just an annoyance, along with dozens of other trivia.

Beloved Dog has moved out, is delightedly settling in with her new full-time family. I get to visit, at least briefly, on Tuesday. The house is weirdly quiet without her. And some things are better.

I've spent several multi-hour sessions working upstairs in my office, clearing out, organizing, filing. There's more to do, but already I feel more in control and in touch with what's up there. Soon I'll have some space cleared for the Thanksgiving visitations, which begin on the 17th.

I sat down at the piano yesterday, for only the second or third time since I sprained my fingers the day Beloved Dog arrived home. I can't play for long, but indeed all the fingers find their notes. So the trade-off is complete: in the spring I got Beloved Dog and lost the piano; now in the fall I have sent Beloved Dog to greener pastures and taken the piano back.

Weaving continues moving forward, even though my eye is not yet back to normal. This afternoon B and I will string up the loom for her placemats, and then the blissful meditative part of the process begins. A bonus: during the clean-up upstairs I found two warps I'd made last fall. Maybe after these mats I can string one of them, and even perhaps complete a second set. We'll see.

The Eye ... I keep reaching to clean the glasses I'm not wearing. The floater has shrunk and thinned hour by hour, but apparently part of what it's doing is dissipating into tiny droplets or fragments that are becoming more and more uniformly distributed throughout what should be the clear gel of the vitreous.

What I see through that eye is the world with normal acuity, except for an increasingly uniform cloud of gray-rimmed water droplets. Probably, the doctor says, this is the blood from the initial bleed. Probably, the doctor says, the body is preparing to re-absorb it, first breaking it mechanically into small fragments as the vitreous moves (as I move my eye). Probably, in other words, this is fine. Likely within the next week or two it will clear. Right now, though, I don't much like it.

Autumn ...

The weather ... the light continues so gray it's becoming disturbing. Rain everywhere, which is okay, but the grayness ... can't we have some light?

Then, anniversaries and resonances -- my Mom's death on the 23rd, several years ago ... and then on the 24th something happens to my right eye. For most of her life my Mom would often remark that her "right eye was always the weakest" and that it was "the one things happened to." I don't need to continue that pattern. I don't like this timing -- is there a message for me? Since I feel like I don't want to hear it, I need to ask: is there a message I'm missing or ignoring?

Now gatherings and partings -- I'm gearing up for Thanksgiving. At the moment it looks like we'll have about 18 sleepover family and probably 30 or 35 for Dinner On the Day ... which will be marvelous and also a lot to do. Everyone will pitch in with everything, so it won't be a burden. The two exceptions are my choice. I learned long ago never to let anybody empty the dishwasher who doesn't live here -- they're bound to put something away where none of us inmates can find it. And the sheets and towels will get done after they all leave.

But as soon as the wonderful party is over and the cleanup complete, I need to pack up the car and be ready to drive to Florida and move to the bigger boat and get ready for big major travel -- maybe Guatemala? -- on a boat so big I can't imagine sailing her alone. A boat I've only been on one inland motoring trip with. (I see I'm apprehensive, but this is totally unnecessary -- it's just a product of unfamiliarity. Probably there's more to talk about, about the boat. But at the moment I'm focused on parting.)

I get to leave behind my covensisters, my CUUPS chapter, my ties to congregants and neighbors and family here. I get to leave behind the woods, the land, even the car I like driving. Not to mention the Cat that I've been missing since the arrival of Dog, who make take another two weeks to forgive me now that the Dog is gone, and will then be properly furious when I disappear. I get to leave behind my loom (at least, unless I decide to take it with me in case of shore space to work in). The piano, my Altar ... I'm noticing I'm not happy about this. I can always come back for a visit, can't I? I'll be back in April anyway, won't I?

So ... strange times.

What was I saying about "I'd buy a new computer"?

Today's two hours on the phone with Dell produced the result that:

My Dell Inspiron 1150 won't keep running long enough to re-install Windows XP from the CD drive. It passes most tests but not a hard-drive test, which it won't complete -- shuts down instead.

I can send it to Dell Depot where they guarantee to fix it for under $500 ... maybe under $200 if it's not the motherboard, or if the motherboard is repairable. Ten days later I will have a 2004 computer with an empty hard drive, ready for me to partition and load it. I'll use all the same software I had before, except I'll be learning Eudora and avg instead of Outlook Express and Norton anything. Windows XP will continue to need security updates from time to time.

Or I could spend two or three times that amount and buy my first Mac.

This gives me dozens of questions.

Would I need to buy new versions of application software I know and like? would the Mac versions run 'the same' or only 'so nearly the same as to be frustrating' ? Does everything I want to run actually run on a Mac? Will my MSWord docs open on Windows e-mail screens with weird characters instead of punctuation? Will my present printers be compatible?

Does Mac use memory and disk space in a similar way? or will I need to learn a new way of estimating my space needs?

What about all the times I've downloaded something or bought something that has no equivalent for Mac ... does that mean there's some stuff I just can't do? My computer game level is solitaire only, so I'm not worried about that ... but what about Rosetta language discs or Palm software or I-don't remember-what? Is there a Dvorak keyboard for Mac so I don't have to switch back and slow down with QWERTY, like tonight on borrowed computer?

What are the useful questions in selecting a Mac notebook-size computer? What options are worth paying extra for, and which will I never use?

All advice, opinions, and guidance gratefully received and eagerly sought.

Happy 61st birthday to me.