New Year Update, part One of several
Thursday, January 5th, 2012 02:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
joyfinderheroHello, Beloveds,
Lots of change and stirred up confusion for the New Year. Lots of resolve, if not resolution. Seems like an update is in order, but I've been busy with other things -- like, say, a 3000-mile drive, and moving things around in our furnished sublet, and figuring out where is the bank, grocery, etc.
So:
Geography
Woke up this morning in Playa Del Rey, California, a near-beach community in greater Los Angeles. For the next few months we're in a 2nd-floor 2-bedroom apartment with covered, gated parking and a pool that's more for playing in than lap-swimming, but still a fine place to cool off (though not, so far, in January). Our second morning here. Today we learned to use the coffeemaker, bought a bookshelf (can you imagine me living in a place with NO bookshelves?); yesterday we found the grocery stores and the bank.
This isn't a permanent move, I don't think. Neither of us really likes high-density living, nor freeway-dependent driving (especially at LA's typical density). We'll explore the west coast awhile and see what looks possible for the longterm.
Real Estate
The New Jersey house is NOT sold, but our housemates have moved out and we are about ten percent moved out. Still seeking a buyer, or perhaps a tenant -- market being what it is.
Health
I did much better with driving cross-country than I had expected. Based on how awful the last few airplanes were, even when I glommed a first-class seat, I budgeted an 8-day trip averaging 6 hours/day. In fact we did it in 6 days; most days were longer than 8 hours, plus leisurely meals and a couple of multi-hour excursions. The low-back and leg-pain issues were MUCH reduced by the simple fact that I could move around in the seat and put my left foot up whenever necessary. I may not do much long-distance flying any more, but travel seems to be pretty easy otherwise.
My skin sure is 65, though; this dry desert air has me back to the prescription skin cream, which seems to be helping well enough.
Dear Husband has been sneezing a bit the past few days. Started in the last couple of days on the road, so at least it's not directly allergies to the apartment, which has more than its share of house plants. Not sure if he's caught cold or is allergic to local flora, or just what. Time will probably make that clear.
Relationships
DH and I had a lovely, companionable trip across. Lots of good conversation, a modicum of political argument. Mostly we're getting better at calling a halt to those before they get ugly, and of identifying those moments when one or other of us feels triggered. Listened to Bob Woodward's disquisition on the 'Deep Throat' source for his Watergate work, entitled The Secret Man. It was kind of neat to read the wrap up, 30 years later, and see the whole process of deciding who would reveal the source's identity, and when. I won't give spoilers, because it was a great read and there are some surprises there, even after all this time.
DH and I are both doing better at speaking up for what we want and being a bit more clear with one another, though still having lots of "are you sure?" and "oh, I thought you would / wouldn't ..."
Road trips are one sort of relating, living practically in each other's pockets and spending nearly no time apart, having few conversations with anyone else. Now that we're here, it's still pretty new and we're groping toward new ways of relating. Just now he's exploring the local lunch options within a reasonable walk, and I'm making plans and lists.
Community
Tomorrow I see 35 colleagues at my old grad school. Serving as volunteers, we will read homework, check for completeness, coach and offer support and feedback to current students as they progress through doing their own work and learning to use the skills of counseling, learning to attune to the Inner Counselor each of us has. Revisiting the work has enormous value for me. So does the opportunity to receive coaching myself in an atmosphere of loving support and high integrity.
Writing
Except for blog posts and e-mails I've written hardly anything in months. Not sure when I'll get back to it ... maybe soon, or maybe not.
Chaplaincy
Starting to look around for a CPE program that might accept a Pagan with only an MA in Spiritual Psychology. Here in California that might be marginally easier than in NJ, I'm not sure. But it's too early to apply yet -- too much geographic uncertainty just now.
Medical
Finally in November, a year after I voiced major concern about my diminishing memory capacity, I went through an all-day battery of "neuro-psychological" testing. Got a dandy multi-page report out of it, detailing my scores on each of the tests. Some of them were really interesting, technically, and all were fun to engage with and figure out. A few were surprisingly difficult, and I noticed the rise of significant anxiety when I had trouble remembering lists of words the way I thought I would.
Bottom line: from the professionals' viewpoint, I'm intact -- no evidence of dementia or brain damage. From my viewpoint, we now have a solid baseline of "me at 65." It's very, very clear to me that in several areas of short-term and medium-term recall I am not as sharp as, say "me at 50" was. There are several areas of everyday function that require a certain amount of work-around, which I sometimes find monumentally irritating.
But it's also clear (from their report as well as from my own experience of the testing) that I'm mostly intact, mostly functional, mostly capable. Yes, I need to make lists more often, and need to refer to them more often during the tasks they support. Yes, I get lost more often (though not seriously, just momentarily taking a wrong turn). Yes, I need to rely more on maps. But that's why I recently got a smartphone, whose GPS capability has proved useful without being intrusive.
Celebration
Did mostly manage to avoid listening to the compulsory music of the period by judicious shopping choices. Celebrated Yule several ways -- I attended a local coven's first-ever coven Yuletide, which was a delight. Especially it was a delight to see that they are seriously coherent and attuned to one another on the astral, even though the physical-reality level hasn't quite caught up to that yet. Then DH and I attended our local CUUPS-led Yule, with drumming and candles and lots of deep listening and singing. A couple of days later we spent the evening keeping Yulefire in the courtyard of the local Unitarian Universalist congregation, from "before first service" through "after last service." Each year we burn the logs of last year's Yule Tree in this fire, which begins with last year's Yule Log (which was the base of the Tree the year before). This year I was at the fire from before it was lit until after it was out.
Magic
Community magic with coven, celebrating Yule at mid-month. A little personal magic during the trip, but not as much as I would prefer. I'm doing a little work to attract my next loom ... stay tuned.
Sobriety
Not much interest in attending meetings these days. DH continues daily alcohol, almost exclusively confined to evenings, though now that we're here I expect he'll go back to beers at lunch. During the past few months I've made several experiments about drinking with him, mostly finding that even a single glass of wine is more than I want. Once again I'm able to track wine in the evening against reduced clarity the following day or two. So probably this experiment is at an end. By February I predict we are trying once again to negotiate an alcohol-free life, but we're not there yet. Partly because he will be flying back to NJ for two weeks without me, shortly.
Spiritual Practice
Found my meditation cushions yesterday and started setting up an altar. Haven't sat in months. Soon it will be time for Full Moon Ritual, meeting my covenmates on the astral even though we're not gathering in person. I look forward to that with great eagerness.
That's all for this update; part Two later on.
Lots of change and stirred up confusion for the New Year. Lots of resolve, if not resolution. Seems like an update is in order, but I've been busy with other things -- like, say, a 3000-mile drive, and moving things around in our furnished sublet, and figuring out where is the bank, grocery, etc.
So:
Geography
Woke up this morning in Playa Del Rey, California, a near-beach community in greater Los Angeles. For the next few months we're in a 2nd-floor 2-bedroom apartment with covered, gated parking and a pool that's more for playing in than lap-swimming, but still a fine place to cool off (though not, so far, in January). Our second morning here. Today we learned to use the coffeemaker, bought a bookshelf (can you imagine me living in a place with NO bookshelves?); yesterday we found the grocery stores and the bank.
This isn't a permanent move, I don't think. Neither of us really likes high-density living, nor freeway-dependent driving (especially at LA's typical density). We'll explore the west coast awhile and see what looks possible for the longterm.
Real Estate
The New Jersey house is NOT sold, but our housemates have moved out and we are about ten percent moved out. Still seeking a buyer, or perhaps a tenant -- market being what it is.
Health
I did much better with driving cross-country than I had expected. Based on how awful the last few airplanes were, even when I glommed a first-class seat, I budgeted an 8-day trip averaging 6 hours/day. In fact we did it in 6 days; most days were longer than 8 hours, plus leisurely meals and a couple of multi-hour excursions. The low-back and leg-pain issues were MUCH reduced by the simple fact that I could move around in the seat and put my left foot up whenever necessary. I may not do much long-distance flying any more, but travel seems to be pretty easy otherwise.
My skin sure is 65, though; this dry desert air has me back to the prescription skin cream, which seems to be helping well enough.
Dear Husband has been sneezing a bit the past few days. Started in the last couple of days on the road, so at least it's not directly allergies to the apartment, which has more than its share of house plants. Not sure if he's caught cold or is allergic to local flora, or just what. Time will probably make that clear.
Relationships
DH and I had a lovely, companionable trip across. Lots of good conversation, a modicum of political argument. Mostly we're getting better at calling a halt to those before they get ugly, and of identifying those moments when one or other of us feels triggered. Listened to Bob Woodward's disquisition on the 'Deep Throat' source for his Watergate work, entitled The Secret Man. It was kind of neat to read the wrap up, 30 years later, and see the whole process of deciding who would reveal the source's identity, and when. I won't give spoilers, because it was a great read and there are some surprises there, even after all this time.
DH and I are both doing better at speaking up for what we want and being a bit more clear with one another, though still having lots of "are you sure?" and "oh, I thought you would / wouldn't ..."
Road trips are one sort of relating, living practically in each other's pockets and spending nearly no time apart, having few conversations with anyone else. Now that we're here, it's still pretty new and we're groping toward new ways of relating. Just now he's exploring the local lunch options within a reasonable walk, and I'm making plans and lists.
Community
Tomorrow I see 35 colleagues at my old grad school. Serving as volunteers, we will read homework, check for completeness, coach and offer support and feedback to current students as they progress through doing their own work and learning to use the skills of counseling, learning to attune to the Inner Counselor each of us has. Revisiting the work has enormous value for me. So does the opportunity to receive coaching myself in an atmosphere of loving support and high integrity.
Writing
Except for blog posts and e-mails I've written hardly anything in months. Not sure when I'll get back to it ... maybe soon, or maybe not.
Chaplaincy
Starting to look around for a CPE program that might accept a Pagan with only an MA in Spiritual Psychology. Here in California that might be marginally easier than in NJ, I'm not sure. But it's too early to apply yet -- too much geographic uncertainty just now.
Medical
Finally in November, a year after I voiced major concern about my diminishing memory capacity, I went through an all-day battery of "neuro-psychological" testing. Got a dandy multi-page report out of it, detailing my scores on each of the tests. Some of them were really interesting, technically, and all were fun to engage with and figure out. A few were surprisingly difficult, and I noticed the rise of significant anxiety when I had trouble remembering lists of words the way I thought I would.
Bottom line: from the professionals' viewpoint, I'm intact -- no evidence of dementia or brain damage. From my viewpoint, we now have a solid baseline of "me at 65." It's very, very clear to me that in several areas of short-term and medium-term recall I am not as sharp as, say "me at 50" was. There are several areas of everyday function that require a certain amount of work-around, which I sometimes find monumentally irritating.
But it's also clear (from their report as well as from my own experience of the testing) that I'm mostly intact, mostly functional, mostly capable. Yes, I need to make lists more often, and need to refer to them more often during the tasks they support. Yes, I get lost more often (though not seriously, just momentarily taking a wrong turn). Yes, I need to rely more on maps. But that's why I recently got a smartphone, whose GPS capability has proved useful without being intrusive.
Celebration
Did mostly manage to avoid listening to the compulsory music of the period by judicious shopping choices. Celebrated Yule several ways -- I attended a local coven's first-ever coven Yuletide, which was a delight. Especially it was a delight to see that they are seriously coherent and attuned to one another on the astral, even though the physical-reality level hasn't quite caught up to that yet. Then DH and I attended our local CUUPS-led Yule, with drumming and candles and lots of deep listening and singing. A couple of days later we spent the evening keeping Yulefire in the courtyard of the local Unitarian Universalist congregation, from "before first service" through "after last service." Each year we burn the logs of last year's Yule Tree in this fire, which begins with last year's Yule Log (which was the base of the Tree the year before). This year I was at the fire from before it was lit until after it was out.
Magic
Community magic with coven, celebrating Yule at mid-month. A little personal magic during the trip, but not as much as I would prefer. I'm doing a little work to attract my next loom ... stay tuned.
Sobriety
Not much interest in attending meetings these days. DH continues daily alcohol, almost exclusively confined to evenings, though now that we're here I expect he'll go back to beers at lunch. During the past few months I've made several experiments about drinking with him, mostly finding that even a single glass of wine is more than I want. Once again I'm able to track wine in the evening against reduced clarity the following day or two. So probably this experiment is at an end. By February I predict we are trying once again to negotiate an alcohol-free life, but we're not there yet. Partly because he will be flying back to NJ for two weeks without me, shortly.
Spiritual Practice
Found my meditation cushions yesterday and started setting up an altar. Haven't sat in months. Soon it will be time for Full Moon Ritual, meeting my covenmates on the astral even though we're not gathering in person. I look forward to that with great eagerness.
That's all for this update; part Two later on.